did two hard things for me over the passed couple of days, firstly i made myself go to cathy's glad to be alive party, was really worried about it but bit the bullet and went, even got the bus up lol, got there quite early so it was quiet. she was really delighted i had come and loved the bob dylan card i made for her, it got quite tough as everyone came in and come over to see me, rosemary but her finger right on it when she said i was sitting looking like i had my eyes on all the exits! had a few tears but i am glad i went as it's another step to being back to normal, also had a good chat with clare and it turns out she is starting cbt too, so at least i'll have someone to talk too about it.
the other hard thing i've done is to end my friendship with elizabeth, sent her an email saying i don't want to be friends anymore, tbh i've not wanted to be friends for ages i just haven't had the courage to tell her, i hate it when she calls over or phones, i try to think of any excuse not to see her or speak to her so i've been courageous, and though i know i have hurt her all i feel is a sense of relief that at last the friendship is over
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